Rnd 2: Week 1.5

   The prednisone crashed me hard, physically and emotionally, last week, making it a struggle to stay at all positive in this fight.  I know too much time on my hands to think and to Google too many things didn’t help, which is so frustrating because I know how important keeping a positive attitude is.  I also know that I’m not just a statistic.  I actually got out my bike trainer in my office and made it onto it last Thursday.  It wasn’t long (about 10 minutes), but it felt good, but then it was followed by my emotional crash that afternoon.  These days are all so long and drawn out sometimes.  It has felt like I'm just waiting for the next appointment or the next thing to happen to me (like the hair loss and other symptoms).
   This week has meant staying more positive, keeping what little hair I have shaved so I don’t check constantly for more to have fallen out, and finding the positive in having time to read and to write. This week has had nice enough weather that I actually got in a couple short bike rides over the past couple days (about 4-5 miles) with hopes of repeating that a couple more times before the weather turns this weekend.  At this point, it’s not about building muscle but maintaining it and keeping active while also clearing my head.
   My nadir visit last Friday also went well with additional reassurances from the PA that things are good in my blood work and that the expectation is that this will be cured.  Looking at my blood test results online, though, leads to more questions when I see Dr. Barnett before my next chemo appointment next Thursday, specifically with the lymphocyte and monocyte counts (should they be going up or down?) and my white cell counts (are they high because of the Neulasta?).  It’s probably all fine and me just finding new things to worry about...
   Overall, this week (you know, all two days of it so far, though it's more marked by being week two from Thursday since the last chemo) is going well, all things considered.  I'm staying active around the house along with the bike rides, so the fatigue doesn't seem to be quite so debilitating this week--a lot of research I read before I banned myself from researching suggests that staying physically active during chemo can counter some of the fatigue and may also help in bringing down the mountain.
   Otherwise, it's just about letting the chemo drugs work in my system until my next chemo appointment in just over a week.  After which, we'll schedule another CT scan with the expectation that the cancer has shrunk and the hope that it's possibly gone, though even if gone, I still have to finish all six rounds in order to make sure all cancer is completely gone.  I'll also have to do another echocardiogram since one of the drugs has the potential side effect of harming the heart muscle.